Sometimes I wonder why I do as I do. Tonight I had made a reservation on a SAS flight to Berlin to celebrate a friend of mine’s birthday. I ended up missing the flight and I was really sad. Maybe because I initially had some doubts about this trip anyway and this almost seemed like a sign that I weren’t supposed to go there. Yes, I cried. I am very emotional these days. Then I started thinking about why this happened. I still have not that much excess energy I think which makes me push things into the future when I can. Still feeling the effects of lost love a bit which does not help either. I actually got some energy back in the beginning of the week where I met with people two nights in a row which was very nice. Lost some steam at the end of the week though.
I also I have a general tendency to be a time-optimist and often end up being a little late because I try to do a little bit too much all the time. Sometimes it is of course also because I feel very tired in the morning and can’t do much to shorten my morning routine. This being late-thing also has to do with my previous fear of waiting for people alone in public places where it was easier to show up a little late to avoid that waiting alone.
So today I went to my old work in Uppsala for some annual tasks, then to FOI to pick up a USB-stick, then to my makeup store and finally to eat something down at the City Center Mall. Managed to place some calls to both the Cable-TV company (ordered HDTV) and my Internet Service Provider in the car. Felt I had been rather productive today. On my way to my car I decided to see if I could find a birthday present for my friend so I went inside the bookshop even though I knew time was running short. I guess I missed the flight there. After that I took my car back home and it went better than I thought despite the Christmas traffic in central Stockholm. Still I realised I was getting a bit late but I did not really think I realised how late I was. Got home and started packing my suitcase as fast as I could. Here comes the next part of the explantation I think. There are quite a few things that I really can’t forget when I am traveling and it is a bit stressful to try to think of everything that need to go into the suitcase. Why don’t do the packing the day before then? Because I most of the stuff that is really important is something I use both in the evening and in the morning.
Finally I was ready and headed for the bus stop and saw the rear end of the bus moving away from the bus stop. Checked the display which said that the next bus was due in 13 minutes. Think I lost around 20 minutes there so when I finally arrived at Arlanda Airport there was 25 minutes left to the plane would leave. Even though I had checked in online they refused to accept my suitcase and that was that. It was the first time I had missed a flight.
Ended up feeling like I have failed to be there for my friend but also failed to take the chance to have some great fun on my leisure time. Also felt very confused because I am a rather seasoned traveller who have been abroad 8 times already this year. How could I do this?? After a while I gathered myself and found a Ryanair flight for around 1100 SEK which I finally booked. It would leave 6.30 in the morning which meant that I had to leave home around 3.25 or so. Would not be much sleep for me then – I wonder if I could fall asleep at all before that.