Sometimes people around you seem to figure you out more than you ever done yourself before. Last weekend I was sitting in a turkish gay bar and talking with my travel partner from the organisation RFSL. I said something about not being good at picking people up and flirting and she just commented that I seemed like the kind of person that liked being courted by others. And I guess she is right. I think I like to be swept away by my princess after she has taken the initiative. Even though I want to be and independant and strong woman I think when it comes to attraction I feel more comfortable being the passive and (normatively speaking) the feminine one. Sometimes it is maybe easier to be not-male than female if you see what I mean.
However, all of this is a bit strange since I think I in most other respects prefer to have a very equal relationships when it comes to work and professional careers. I want her to have a life of her own and her own passion that guides her through life. Hopefully we can inspire and learn from each other when we go through life.
Anyway back to flirting and the talent of picking people up. I tend to think this has to do with me being a transsexual woman and that did not had the chance to learn how to do that during my teenage years since everything about me felt wrong.
I guess a lot of people feel unsecure in these situations and some conquer their fears and some don’t. Yet another group have no issues at all and just love the social game. Maybe I just have to accept that it is yet another talent or personality that some people have and I don’t.